The 99% Are Closet Trumpsters

By Allen Schmertzler.

 

I admit to secretly wanting Donald Trump to become the Republican nominee. I guess that makes me a closet Trumpster. For my personal health I need to “out” myself, admit my mistakes, take responsibility, ask for forgiveness, and to seek therapy with a deprogrammer to unwrap my warped political indiscretions that caused me to lean cultish.

I wanted to tear down our horribly dysfunctional, elitist, self-serving, morally corrupt, two-party political mafia. I had enough of the lying, hypocritical, conniving, insidious, brillo-tongued, cynical ruling class. I had enough of the oligarchy special interests fix the rules rigged system. I hate the morally bankrupt Republican Evangelical class. I hate the academic Lefty class that thinks they can socially engineer perfection. Until now, I hated even more, the Neocons and the Bushies. It is sickly ironic how they are cast as the sane ones now by freaking out over the orange mutant monster that uprooted from their carefully managed political garden.

Trump was my nocturnal dream with explosive qualities to terminate the termite Republicans. I regret all of these feelings now. Trump, even if he loses, came way too close, coalesced a coalition of conscious-less conspirators that swarmed like killer bees protecting the “Man-Baby Queen” that the country will never heal from.

Trumplanders are tough and determined. They have spread, fueled by legitimate grievances. But, I fear they may eat rebar from abandoned factories for breakfast, snort coal dust for evening edge, and for leisure, sharpen their second amendment rights with target practice using a copy of the Social Contract stapled to the constitution.

I am sorry for what I wished for. A Jeb and Hillary contest would have been so “been-there-done-that-crap” too many times boring and predictable.” The old system would have lamely, benignly limped along until the next presidential cycle, and, now I understand better, the Trump disease would have stayed contained and not gone epidemic. I would be sleeping and eating better and drinking according to my doctor’s recommendation.

Now that the horror is real, everyone is going to be asking, “how could this have happened, and who is/are to blame?” Well, there is ample blame to spread to the four corners of the country. That is because 99% of us have been disgusted with  “politics as usual.”  We are numb from the safe and sound political slugfest groundhog-day quagmire. We really do not want the drone of grandma Hillary caretaking. Certainly not when we can shoot up with adrenaline high-speed digital pixels with the illusion that change can happen in a nanosecond.

I had enough of my fantasy of imploding our politics with a Trump. I repent. I am going to relearn how to love “predictable.” Please, politicians, Republicans, Democrats, and the remaining majority, can we slow down, remember that Baseball is the pace of our American pastime and hug each other to save ourselves? Even the Cubs won, eventually, can’t we all.

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